Of unintended consequences
by Monkeybandit2
Summary: Ichigo never exactly made it a habit to leave Japan for any particular reason. Sadly he never thought he would have a partially justified reason not to either. (One shot.)


**... The goblins in my head made me do this.** **They weren't even your typical fairy tale kind either...** **they were the Warcraft variant...** **THEY'RE WORSE!**

 **That and, again, unclaimed territory! FIRST!** **(Cackles.)**

 **I do not own either Bleach nor Corpse Bride. They belong to their respectful owners.** **If I had any sense of ownership over them then why would I need a disclaimer for anything other than reading induced suspicion/paranoia?** **(Squints.)**

Of unintended consequences

Fishbark, England

"THE ONE WITH THE THUG FACE! WHY IS IT THAT YOU MUST BE SO DISPASSIONATE! SO BLUNT! SO... so... SO LAME!"

For the umpteenth time Ichigo had to remind himself as to why he was suffering as he was due to his beloved little sister Yuzu...

It all started with... basically a hyper active millionaire manchild coming to Japan on a worldwide tour with an almost demented purpose-slash-dream to host a soccer, or rather 'football,' exhibition championship consisting of multiple high school teams, one team per country, to compete in merry old England. Karin's team, his and Yuzu's sister, having made the regional qualifier, were of course invited to represent Japan. As such it was only natural that their sister, their father and even Ichigo himself, despite initial protests given his university scheduling, tests and a date, were to go alongside a heaping horde of family members of the other teammates who followed suite to give their own respective kin morale support. That much made sense to him at least.

Then came this place...

Being a generous man, Mister Manchild, or whatever his real name was, was more than willing to pay for the majority of the expenses for the families who came to support their kids. Alas he was not, for all intents and purposes, all powerful. Or rather there weren't anywhere near enough hotels, motels, hostels and so on to accommodate _everyone_ who came within the city where the exhibition match was to take place. He took a good crack at it but in the end it was only to be expected that some families and even some teams ended up being displaced and accommodated in nearby towns, the Kurosaki's included. Hence his current stay in Fishbark.

Dreary place that it was, there were a few things to entertain their newfound tourists between certain matches, particularly when Karin's team played in regards to the Kurosaki family. It was mostly the typical tourist kind of activities however: exploring, eating exotic foods, delving into history, and occasionally finding a point of interest such as a movie theater or a museum for example. Sadly however it was one of said points of interest that now plagued him, the theater. As to how, the answer was simple: Yuzu.

That and another weirdo but that was besides the point.

With the influx of tourists a few of the locals had tried to turn the situation to their own particular favor, some more legitimately more so than others. Regardless, seeing an opportunity to have the the 'genuine article,' a director of a theater troupe and not only bewitched his little Yuzu in joining them for their play but also managed to ensnare the remaining free Kurosaki members via her. At the very least he had the cold comfort of knowing he wasn't the only one suffering though; the long suffering local actors were all but demolished by this man's rants, and the other tourists like himself were slowly becoming mutinous enough at least consider shaking off their own similar bonds and obligations as well.

"UGH! THAT'S IT! TAKE THE DAY EVERYONE! AND YOU!" He pointed a rolled up script directly at Ichigo. "PRACTICE! WE NEED YOUR SOUL OUT THERE, NOT SOME ANIMATED CORPSE THAT COULD SPEAK WORDS!" With a huff he abruptly turned heel and left the room altogether just as Ichigo raised his hand, clutching the now hidden prop within its grasp with restrained fury, and reared back with the intent to nailing the pompous dramatic thespian just before he was out of both sight and reach.

"Ichigo!"

Upon hearing Yuzu's voice Ichigo restrained himself with an irritated huff. Clenching his fist all the tighter to quietly vent, he turned his attention to his fifteen year blond haired old sister who was pouting up at him. In the meantime the grumbling cast began to filed out on their own accord besides a lagging few, his father included, as they conversed amongst themselves, merrily or not. During all this he and his sister just continued to stare at one another with their varying degrees of annoyance, silently communicating with one another all the while. In the end Yuzu won out.

" _Fine_ , I'll go _practice_ ," he groused as he turned away. In doing so he almost missed Yuzu's brilliant smile.

"Alright! Just be sure to be back at the hotel before dark!"

"Yeah, yeah," he grumped as he marched out the nearest exit, clenching his fist all the while. Luckily for him the theater house was at the edge of town, close to the woods where he could be alone to cool off. If he was even luckier then perhaps he would come across a tree that so happened to look vaguely like the director so he could better 'practice' his 'lines.'

Dark thoughts of brooding vengeance aside however, never mind the fact he wasn't really paying attention to where he was going in that he had swiftly crossed the distance between the theater and the woods, he couldn't help but pick at the issue on hand aside from Yuzu's whimsical fascination with the play. The play his family had been entangled in was basically a love story. Two immigrants from two different countries fall for the same woman and vie for her love and affection. After a bit of drama and some shenanigans, Ichigo's character ultimately won her over and was to wed her... And that's where they were stuck.

They have the movements down pat, the words memorized by heart at this point, but no matter how he said them it came across as... 'unsatisfactory' at best. It wasn't as if he wasn't trying damn it! And that preening, screeching fop wasn't exactly making it clear as to _what_ was wrong either! Hell, no one knew! Worse yet no one other than him was even trying to correct this supposed mistake!

With an irritable sigh he came to a stop within a small clearing consisting of a towering trunk of a dead tree, some fallen logs and the summer shrubbery, all of which grayed by the overcast sky above. With an idle glance he was able to spy a gnarled root near the base of the trunk looking akin to a partially curled hand reaching toward the sky. A rather decayed hand for that matter liken to a cadaver's hand now that he was focusing on it...

While creepy, it was rather convenient for him in a rather morbid way.

Casting the more macabre thoughts aside, he opened his palm at long last and flicked a plain bronze wedding band like a quarter before catching it in mid air. Once the ring was firmly within his grip he took a deep breath as he drew up the very words that were the catalyst to whatever seemed to irk the director to no end.

"With this hand," he held the ring bearing hand up, the ring itself between the pads of his index and thumb, "I will lift your sorrows," he uttered as he marched.

"Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine." He knelt down, his gaze intense upon the root's 'finger.'

"With this candle I will light your way through darkness." He leaned in closer as he presented the ring to the root. "With this ring," he said as he drew the ringer closer to the hand, "I ask you to be mine." Without ado he slid the ring onto the most available finger where, if it slid back, we would be able to easily retrieve it...

And then the ominous wind blew, silencing all of the ambient sounds of the surrounding forest save for the forlorn caw of a raven over head. It was soon joined by several others.

Sighing to himself and rolling his eyes as he ignored what sounded like a murder of crows, he reached for the ring when it happened... The 'root' cricked and cracked as it rigidly moved. In doing so some of the 'bark' fell off, revealing it to have been nothing more than dirt and grime clinging to almost pristine bone underneath it...

"Ah crap."

Despite his kneeling position he managed to leap away just in time to escape the bony hand as it lurched forth to grab him. Needless to say it missed. To make matters worse it was groping the air in search for him before it lowered itself and grasped the earth. It wasn't even a moment later that the skeletal arm lurched upward, as if trying to heft the body it belonged to up. It in fact was despite the dirt that enclosed it. With powerful heaves it pulled, the earth around it becoming a mound which grew with each failed attempt as the corpse pushed itself up. Eventually however it broke free and rose to its full height before him in what appeared to be a tattered wedding dress, an equally torn veil included, covering the bare remnants of dirt still clinging to what was mostly bone now.

For all its gruesome horror Ichigo did not remain idle however. As it fought its way from its grave Ichigo had fished his substitute badge from his pocket and slammed it into his chest. He then took it onto himself to grab his own soulless body and flash step to the high branches of the first out of the way tree that came to mind before returning to his previous spot, his zanpakuto drawn and now at the ready. As such he pointed the blade at the creature just as it pushed its veil aside to better reveal its boney face, after which it stilled.

Plain though dirtied bone, for all its lack of emotion, showed nothing less than confusion that reached even Ichigo. Even if it hadn't it took a surprised step back whilst its hands clutched at its chest in fright.

"Wait—I don't—Did you just propose to me just to kill me?!" she clearly cried as she stumbled away, surprising Ichigo considering her distinct lack of organs. "Are you that monstrous?!" she cried again, shaking Ichigo from some of his stupor so as to soundlessly work his jaw as he considered his answer. His eyes then flicked over to the ring which dully shined from her finger...

He took a quiet breath so as to better calm himself.

"I did not propose to you with the intent to hurt you," he stated calmly in English. "I was simply practicing my lines for a play when I... thought..." His face contorted slightly in a grimace, yet didn't drop his guard as he decided to go on with it, for better or worse. "I mistook your hand for a root," he stated. "Thinking that, I thought it would help me in this play my sister looped me in..." He grimaced, albeit more professionally yet with a touch of pity for the frightened corpse before him. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... disturb you."

All the while she trembled. Though with the explanation her trembling became less and less noticeable. "A play?" she asked almost quietly. She then turned her sightless gaze onto the ring on her finger and somberly caressed it in thought with the thumb of her other hand. "... so it wasn't a real proposal then to begin with..."

Slowly, dejectedly she sank to her knees, her shoulders sagging as she forlornly removed the ring from her finger, fitted it onto her palm and offered it to him from her spot. Even without so much as the barest amount of flesh to help define her mood, everything about her radiated with melancholic defeat. "I'm sorry then, for startling you I mean..." she murmured so lowly that Ichigo almost missed it. She then let loose a disheartened chortle. "I was just so happy with the thought that... after all this time..." In her newfound silence she bowed her head, her arm drooping in her despairing weight.

Sensing nothing that would indicate a trap, he frowned as he slowly shouldered his weapon and approached her with measured but slow steps. When he was close in the respect of being a lurch away from her hand grasping a handful of his clothing he knelt down and spoke up. "What were you waiting for?"

The skeleton didn't respond. Not verbally at least. It made the token effort of glancing in his direction but kept her sullen silence. If anything she made a marginal effort in trying to return the ring to him by extending her arm all the more.

He did his best not to scowl but his frown deepened all the more as he tried a different tactic.

"I'm Ichigo. Ichigo Kurosaki," he introduced himself, "from Japan."

At this her head perked to the side in curiosity, alleviating the depressive mood if only a little as she was given something new to focus on.

"Japan? That's an odd name... I don't think I ever heard of it. Is it across the sea?"

"Yeah," he answered. "Just across the sea from China actually."

"Oh! I heard that so many wondrous things come from China! I always wanted to visit it when I was a little girl," she replied with newfound excitement that washed away her malaise. Yet as suddenly as it came, so too did it vanish. With what he could imagine to be a rueful 'smile' the skeleton somberly looked down to its hand where the ring still resided. Yet rather than look to the ring, Ichigo had the distinct feeling she was looking at the very bones which made up her hand. "... but I guess it would be in poor taste to say that was a lifetime ago."

Frowning still, Ichigo kept his silence...

"Would you mind listening to me, if only for a moment?" she quietly asked without looking up.

"Yes," he answered without a thought.

Even without lips he could imagine a grateful twitched on her 'lips.' "Thank you..."

Before she spoke up once more she looked up to the overhead sun. Again it wasn't hard to imagine a smile on her 'lips'... it was as false was it was sardonic. From her 'lips' came a mirthless chuckle. "It's been so long since I seen the sun," she murmured as she reached out with her free hand, fingers splayed as if to 'feel' the heat radiating from the sun.

"I guess it's been years now since I was alive... I don't know how many have passed by now," she offered in a soliloquy. "Yet back then when my heart was still beating it fluttered like nothing else when I met and courted this traveler passing through town. My father didn't approve of him of course. He was in the middle of trying to arrange my own marriage to another house at the time..." A short half scoff, half laugh escaped her. "But... he was so charming..."

"Before I realized it we had agreed to elope. I had stolen my mother's wedding dress, the family jewels and even a satchel of gold to begin our life abroad. We were to meet here..." Turning from the sun, she looked to the undoubtedly once great tree whose base she emerged from. If she had eyes he wouldn't have been too surprised to see them haunted by memories too foul for her to put to words. "... when he... left me... I ended up making a vow that night once I found myself without life, a shell of what I used to be: I would wait here for my true love to come and ask me for my hand in marriage."

A small, almost joyless giggle jostled her shoulders. "When you came along and 'asked' for it, I guess I just got... overexcited." She turned to him once more and with a wistful 'smile' she offered him the ring once more."Thank you though, for listening to me. It was nice to speak to someone after so long."

He wordlessly nodded and gingerly took back the simple wedding ring from her palm. A part of him, a cynical part, partially expected her to make some sudden move as he did so yet she didn't. Instead she 'smiled' at him one last time before craning her head back up to the sun once more. As she once more looked to the sun, his normal scowl returned once more with an edge of a thoughtful grimace. He then looked to the butt of the handle of his zanpakuto; she wasn't quite a spirit as far as he knew, yet...

"I know you said you made a vow, but, would you like me to send you on?"

"Hm?" Once more her attention was drawn to him with a quizzical air in her stare. "Send me on? What are you talking about?"

Scowl in place once more, he gestured to himself. "I'm a shinigami... basically..." he paused for a moment as he tried to think of a more local comparison. "I'm basically a Grim Reaper if that makes sense."

Immediately she straightened in her seat, though he wasn't quite sure if it was either out of fear or surprise. Either way it was in his opinion that it was probably for the best he explained himself a bit more. "I'm not going to send you to the other side against your will. Not without good reason at least," he elaborated. "Really I just fight these... 'bad spirits' that try to eat souls when I find them. That and fight a bunch these other guys... but that's another story."

Little by little she relaxed into her seat. "I see," she hummed with piqued curiosity. "I didn't think the afterlife would be so violent! Or is it just "Japan" if you pardon me asking?"

He opened his mouth to answer... then closed it as his brow furrowed in thought. "In all honesty this is actually the first time I ever left Japan," he admitted with a grumble, earning a giggle from the skeleton.

"I see," she hummed once more, though more contently than before as if her earlier mood had vanished. Yet like before it crept up once more, making itself evident even in the contemplative silence on her part. "What... year is it if I may ask?"

He frowned as he found himself reluctant to answer. "It's Twenty-sixteen right now," he murmured aloud. He had to repress a flinch when her head jerked back with what he could imagine to be widened eyes of shock. Her hand even went to chest as if to stop an equally startled jolt to her 'heart.'

"I—... I see," she murmured more to herself before turning away to better digest what was told to her. As she undoubtedly pondered on her situation he couldn't help but notice what figurative life she had left seemed to leave her.

"I guess waiting over a century and a half is a rather respectable term, don't you think?" she asked suddenly, wearily with a matching wan 'smile' as she returned her attention to Ichigo.

"Yeah," he quietly offered as the pommel of his sword's grip was alight with energy. "Are you ready?"

She hummed once more. "As ready as I'll ever be I suppose."

He nodded to her in response just before gently pressing the seal to her forehead, much to her soft surprise. To his own surprise however her body, her skeleton, immediately collapsed into dust and its in place was no doubt her spirit, an ethereal replica of when she was alive. So amazed at her newfound state she began to looked to her hands and arms in awe, utterly missing the fact that her spiritual body was beginning to slowly disperse from her knees on up. Half of her lap was gone by the time she had finally noticed with a quiet gasp. Yet she wasn't afraid. If anything she looked up to him and offered him a beatific smile.

"Thank you," she offered just as the dissolution sped up to the bottom of her ribs. She then began to giggle as the entirety of her chest as well as her arms began to vanish. "I just realized I never told you my name," she pleasantly hummed with a beaming smile. "It's Emily."

"Thank you again, Mister Kurosaki."

And with that she vanished entirely.

He hung his head and sighed as he stood up and slid his weapon back into its place. He then looked to the ring in his hand, then to the small mound of dust and wanly smiled before turning away and slowly trekking back to his body.

Maybe next time when he practiced for a play he'll practice with a hat stand. Surely there weren't any enchanted or haunted hat stands, right?

... Maybe he'll avoid creepy castles just to improve his odds too. Just in case.

 **A/N: Like I said, I saw unmarked territory. I m** **arked unclaimed territory.** **I'm now more glorious than before!** **Bwahaha!**

 **At any rate... originally I was going to go with "Ichigo gets dragged to the 'underworld' (or 'down stairs', either way I do not recall if they had an official name toward the land of the dead there)," but I stopped when I reconsidered Ichigo's position as a Soul Reaper and all that it implied, Canon, AU or none.** **I suppose it could've worked if he was surprised, but to me it seemed rather cheap both towards Ichigo and the story in general.** **As such, on the premise that Ichigo would be more active during an ambush given his combat experience, or at least more reactive toward such a situation, the story went as displayed above...**

 **And now, the following, which I admit was intended to be the original ending of the story yet felt otherwise, take from it as you will. Be it an extension of the story, an omake, an archetype to launch other stories or something else, I couldn't find it in myself to discard it in the end.**

 **I hope you enjoy it as well.**

Umino, Japan

He couldn't help but squint at the doorknob to his own apartment as a conversation with Kisuke Urahara over the phone came to mind... The one at the hotel during his stay in England no less.

 _"_ _Hey Ichigo. Did you by chance, say, perform a konso to a soul in England?"_

 _"_ _... why do you ask?"_

 _"_ _Oh nothing. Nothing to be worried about at least._ _It's just some bureaucracy, red tape and screaming politicians, that sort of thing._ _Don't worry, everything's been taken care of already._ _Personally I'm just crossing the Ts and dotting the Is for both fun and formalities sake._ _That and Shunsui called in a favor."_

 _"_ _Uh-huh..."_

 _"_ _Oh ye of little faith! You wound me!_ _Anyway, just wanted to make sure._ _Toodles!"_

... As if he'd believe that.

So for the past thirty minutes or so he had been staring at his own doorknob while keeping a healthy distance from the door the moment he finally made it back. As much as he wanted to press his ear to his own door to listen for movement, whispering, something, he was too paranoid that, say, an arm would burst through the wood and drag him into his own apartment via the hole like a demented rabbit out of the hat trick. Granted it had never happened yet, but he wasn't going to give it a chance just yet while his guard was up.

"Oh, Ichigo! I see your back."

"Huh?"

Snapping his head in the direction of the voice, he tried to fight off a blush when he spotted his landlady, Hana Akechi. A woman a bit on the plumb side, she was no less as attractive in her humble appearance which gave off a soothing air.

"Uh-ye-yeah!" he offered with a nervous laugh as he blindly reached for his pocket and missed it in one of several frantic attempts to get his key to his apartment. At seeing his nervous behavior she stepped up to him.

"Are you alright?" she softly asked. She then reached up and placed her palm upon his forehead. "You didn't catch anything, did you?"

"N-no," he rasped as he found his key and shunted it inside the lock without looking. It took him a few tries however as his eyes were on her, his cheeks burning. "At least I don't think so..."

"Alright then," she murmured as she drew her hand away. With a smile though she leaned in close and pecked him on the cheek. "I'll be looking forward for our date then, Ichigo," she almost whispered with a teasing sultry voice. As she drew away and walked passed him while keeping an eye on him as much as she could, she couldn't help but giggle to herself when he practically tossed himself into his own apartment. "He's so cute," she pleasantly sighed.

In the meantime...

After slamming the door shut behind him he braced against it with his back whilst cupping his frantically beating heart. As he was trying to come down from his nerve induced high though he had the presence of mind to peer about his apartment from the foyer for any at all traps that he either sprung which had a delayed timer or even for a "Welcome Home" banner hanging somewhere in his apartment. While there were no traps to speak of, or at least any _obvious_ traps to speak of, he did spy a new picture hung on the back wall of his apartment in clear view of the door... one featuring Kisuke Urahara cheekily grinning from behind the glass covering of the picture frame whilst fanning himself as was typical of him when he was revealing a prank, verbal or otherwise.

Seeing that picture his paranoia was heightened once more and as such he took to viewing his one room apartment once more with a critical eye. Yet like before nothing screamed out to him as a prank or a trap lying in wait or else had already sprung—... actually, upon a third viewing he found two things out of place—Three! Three things out of place: The most obvious of which was the table had been set up for a meal for two with the dishes in question covered so as to retain the heat of the meal. Second was the humming which originated from the closed bathroom door... and third, which really raised his hackles with suspicion as his mind was playing out what should be an impossible scenario, there was a _wedding ring_ on the table next to his now presumed spot at the table.

During his ruminating though the door to the bathroom opened, effectively tearing his eyes away from the ring to the still humming figure that stepped out into his apartment proper. And once he looked upon this intruder his newfound suspicions had been confirmed: There, standing in front of his bathroom door, was Emily herself. Alive and well, most likely in a gigai undoubtedly crafted by _Kisuke Urahara_ himself, surprised by his newfound presence and with a wedding ring in plain sight on her left hand. Of the two she recovered first and smiled at him.

"Welcome home," she lovingly hummed as she made her way to him. In the meantime however Ichigo craned his his sight to the impishly grinning picture of Kisuke and narrowed his eyes.

"I'm going to have to kill him."

 **A/N (round two!): Yep!** **Marriage!** **Uninformed Soul Reaper operating in unfamiliar territory + politics + classic shortcut to avoid the hassle = marriage!** **With just a spice of drama to boot!**

 **... and in other news, while spying out this unmarked turf and writing this I also spied another spot in which I could lay claim to first.** **Better yet no one seemed to have made a category for this yet, meaning I get to be first in two aspects too!** **Double win!** **Yet the more I think about it, the less I'm sure.** **I'm not really much for drama outside of my games/anime/some movies to be honest.**

 **Anyway...**

 **Monkeybandit2, making off with your attention! No refunds.** **In this case though if you read the extended section you brought it upon yourself at this point, so there!**


End file.
